I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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