Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
