Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
