apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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