checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
