Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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