There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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