dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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