the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize