Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
