I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
