I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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