she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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