If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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