Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
