Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
