Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
