is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
