Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
