im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
