addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will pee on everything he values.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
