I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
