are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
