Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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