I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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