He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
