did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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