I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
