I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
