There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
