well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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