My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
