marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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