they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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