you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize