i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
