Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize