we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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