i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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