I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
nutella sex= disaster
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
