Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
