i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
