I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
