Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
