Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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