we're chasing vodka with high fives
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We were destined to go to rehab together
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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