This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
