he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i drank out of a bidet.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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