our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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