where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize