i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
