Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
