i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
