I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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