I hate your face
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
