Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
being pregnant is like rehab
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
