i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just gargled with NyQuil
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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