Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
