I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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