I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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