he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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