eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There's always time for handjobs
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
